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First a disclaimer: This interview is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of names to any person living or dead is coincidental.
I was sitting in a pub near Lonavla when a man wearing a white painted face, T shirt and long Bermuda came towards me, tapped my shoulders and said “ Hello. Didn’t you recognize me? First I thought he was a Kathakali artist from Kerala. Then I suddenly recognized him. He was Rahukal Mahadan, from the reality show “The Big Toss” where celebrities spend their days confined to a house with one by one getting tossed out.
“ Can I sit down? he asked and without waiting for my reply made himself comfortable. I had known Rahukal since he was a pilot. Not that we were great buddies, but were definitely cordial. The news of his co-participant bagging Rs 10 billion in the Big Toss show had certainly rattled him. The glow in his Glalxo baby cheeks had dimmed.
So Rahukal why did you run away from the Big Toss? Had you continued you could have won the reality contest. Why such a impulsive decision? I asked him. The waiter brought a plate of pakodas for munching. Rahukal looked at the pakoda and began to smack his lips. Eating the food which the participants had to cook themselves was an ordeal . The expression in his eyes on seeing pakodas was similar to when he had seen Konika Vedi in swim suit in the Big Toss bunglow. Putting a fistful of pakodas in his mouth Rahukal muttered something which I could not clearly comprehend. But I could understand that he was feeling very depressed.
After gulping down pakodas Rahukal said “ Things were getting very tough inside. It was becoming like a jail and the food was lousy” he said. I told him “ but you seem to be very happy earlier. You were having a gala time swimming with Konika, massaging the legs of Arunima and dancing in your shorts.”
He said “ that was when Konika was not tossed out of the show. When she was there in the show she kept us in good health by making us dance and swim in the pool. But after she left, the whole charm went away” he said and put another mouthful of pakodas.
“ Now I cant even sleep properly” he said. I said oh, you mean you were missing Konika so badly? He said “ that’s not the only reason , the other boys snore so badly that I could hardly have a wink.
Now that you failed to get the prize what is going to be your next plan of action? I asked him.
Gesturing to the waiter to get seventh plate of pakodas Rahukal said “ the show has helped me to discover my latent talent which I will implement and make millions “ he said.
I said “ so you got another offer to participate in TV reality show?.”
He said “ No. I am going to become a ladies swimming coach”.
